Frustration today as another sleep deprived night torments my life. Usually I end my night with sleeping pills but for some reason chose to skip that step when I realized it was getting a little too late. I didn’t want to over sleep. 2 am…3am…4am…NOPE 5am…hello sleep. 9:00am W A K E U P. I feel like a zombie. My brain never shuts off unless I force it by swallowing a pill or two.
Every time I think I can shut my brain off myself, this happens. And all I want to do is strangle myself for believing I could do it on my own again. Apparently I don’t learn from my own mistakes.
The worst part is those hours are never used for doing anything productive. Room is still a mess. Clean laundry is my constant cuddle buddy whilst dirty laundry inhabits the floor. I actually did a little bit of reading thinking that would put me to sleep but it just got me annoyed somehow. I tried 2 different books.
The past few days have been a nightmare, now that I think about it. Even with the pills, I’ve been tossing and turning throughout the night never seeming to get comfortable for too long. And I’m supposed to function clearly throughout the day.
F M L.
It could be worse.